OK, so if you couldn't tell, this will be a rant. Wednesday evening around 6pm, we got a phone call that my mother's aunt (who is less than ten years older than her) was "in her last hours". I had to work on top of being sick, mom can't drive at night...crap.
Thursday morning mom calls the hospital, and since she's still there goes to visit. Gets home around noon. We wait for the phone to ring.
Today. Still waiting for the phone to ring. Finally around 4pm, mom calls the hospital, only to be told "she is no longer a patient here". Tries to call ANYONE in the immediate family. Home phones are all busy, cell phones all go to voice mail. Leaves messages all over.
Finally gets a call back just shy of 5pm. Apparently, she died YESTERDAY AFTERNOON at 1:30! They "forgot" to call us what with having to make funeral arrangements and whatnot.
SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?! Are you (insert whatever your favourite expletive is here) kidding me?!? So now mom is crying and pissed off that she wasn't called. I'm pissed off and probably will cry later. Plus, now we have visitation on Monday and a funeral on Tuesday, which will just start the week off on a fabulous note.
Wow. She died less than two hours after mom was there, and they didn't bother to call us. I am astounded.
Inconsiderate *(&*(^*&^&$$#$*^*&)!!!
Moderator: Admin-RZ
Re: Inconsiderate *(&*(^*&^&$$#$*^*&)!!!
Please accept my deepest condolences to you and your mother.
What your family did is ridiculously inconsiderate. I don't know what to say about that.
Maybe they thought the other ones had called? I just don't know. But anyway, I am sorry about your mother's Aunt and your great Aunt.
What your family did is ridiculously inconsiderate. I don't know what to say about that.
Maybe they thought the other ones had called? I just don't know. But anyway, I am sorry about your mother's Aunt and your great Aunt.
Re: Inconsiderate *(&*(^*&^&$$#$*^*&)!!!
My sincere condolences to you and your mom.
I'm not clear on whether it was the hospital or the family who didn't call you. It's inconsiderate either way, of course.
I had a cousin with whom I was very close, and I didn't find out about her death until two weeks later. I cut the family some slack, though, because I'm also close to them, and figured they were just overwhelmed (she was only 45).
If it's the hospital, yell your head off.
I'm not clear on whether it was the hospital or the family who didn't call you. It's inconsiderate either way, of course.
I had a cousin with whom I was very close, and I didn't find out about her death until two weeks later. I cut the family some slack, though, because I'm also close to them, and figured they were just overwhelmed (she was only 45).
If it's the hospital, yell your head off.
Re: Inconsiderate *(&*(^*&^&$$#$*^*&)!!!
Thank you all. It's not that we didn't know she was going soon, and it's not like she isn't better off (she had triple bypass surgery about a year ago, and hasn't ever really recovered), it's just...she's the last one from that generation. My grandma was a bit older than her siblings and had my mom really young, so mom grew up with her aunts and uncles (they all went to school together, in fact).
It was family who neglected to call. Since we aren't immediate family, all we were allowed to know from the hospital was that she was no longer a patient. Fair enough. But her daughter and grandson, who have been handling the notifications, dropped the ball on this one.
What's weird is that I've been so mad about this (which really should not have been a surprise, based on how they've been my whole life...other than my aunt, the only one in that family I could stomach was my cousin Rick, who was in and out of jail his whole life and died unexpectedly last year) it hasn't yet occurred to me that my aunt is gone. I mean, yeah, I know that, but it hasn't sunk in yet. I'm guessing that'll come in a day or two. I just hope I can keep a civil tongue in my head come Monday and Tuesday at the funeral home. These people are pretty (expletive) special.
justsandy, you made me giggle like mad, by the way.
It was family who neglected to call. Since we aren't immediate family, all we were allowed to know from the hospital was that she was no longer a patient. Fair enough. But her daughter and grandson, who have been handling the notifications, dropped the ball on this one.
What's weird is that I've been so mad about this (which really should not have been a surprise, based on how they've been my whole life...other than my aunt, the only one in that family I could stomach was my cousin Rick, who was in and out of jail his whole life and died unexpectedly last year) it hasn't yet occurred to me that my aunt is gone. I mean, yeah, I know that, but it hasn't sunk in yet. I'm guessing that'll come in a day or two. I just hope I can keep a civil tongue in my head come Monday and Tuesday at the funeral home. These people are pretty (expletive) special.
justsandy, you made me giggle like mad, by the way.
Re: Inconsiderate *(&*(^*&^&$$#$*^*&)!!!
In times of stress people react differently but it really is unforgiveale that they didn't let you know. I am sorry that this happened, the loss is hard enough but then not to be told 
My condolences to you and your Mom Felix
My condolences to you and your Mom Felix
-
Kchurchill5
- Posts: 16044
- Joined: Fri Oct 07, 2011 11:55 am
Re: Inconsiderate *(&*(^*&^&$$#$*^*&)!!!
First, I am so sorry for your lost. Yes, not notifying you was so wrong in every way.
But, I can say when my exe's Mom died, my ex was executor of the estate so he was busy with that. So me and his brother who also lived in town, divided the list to make calls. Me, being a bit too organized at times, made a chart with who I called, who I talked to and the time. My brother in law. He managed to forget several people. And then they heard about it a day or two later from friends. One was the Uncle who was a bit estranged, and I'm sure my exes brother just didn't call on purpose. But no excuse he had to hear that from friends.
It can be very overwhelming when a family member passes; but is still NO excuse for not letting you know. Immediately family or not. You are still family.
I would be upset too; and you have every right to be.
But, I can say when my exe's Mom died, my ex was executor of the estate so he was busy with that. So me and his brother who also lived in town, divided the list to make calls. Me, being a bit too organized at times, made a chart with who I called, who I talked to and the time. My brother in law. He managed to forget several people. And then they heard about it a day or two later from friends. One was the Uncle who was a bit estranged, and I'm sure my exes brother just didn't call on purpose. But no excuse he had to hear that from friends.
It can be very overwhelming when a family member passes; but is still NO excuse for not letting you know. Immediately family or not. You are still family.
I would be upset too; and you have every right to be.
