The No Nonsense Diner Burger

Step 1: Toss the burgers in the cold skillet and turn the heat up to high. Season them liberally with garlic, onion powder, and black pepper; take it easy with the salt.

Step 2: As they begin to sear, turn them over before you burn the pan and sear that side.

Step 3: Add about 1/4 cup water to the pan (stand back and don't burn yourself), then cover with lid and turn the heat down to medium.

Step 4: After a minute or two, place thick slices of the onion across the bottom of the panb and set the burger on top. Cover pan mand cook for about 5 minutes, then turn the onions over, add some more water if you need to- just enough to keep it steaming and not burning- top with the burger again and cook till it is firm and done, about another 5 minutes.

Step 5: Remove the onions to a plate, top the burger with a slice of cheese and cover the pan again, cooking for about 45 seconds or just till the cheese melts.

Step 6: While this is going on, split your burger bun, toast it if you like, and put the onions on there with ketchup, mustard (I use dusseldorf mustard or a dijon/horseradish blend mustard) and chopped dill pickle, adding the burger when the cheese is melted.

Step 7: Or if you don't like traditional toppings, drag it through the garden (top it with lettuce, tomato, alfalfa sprouts, sliced avocado, whatever tickles your fancy).

Step 8: Adding cooked bacon to your burger is not only legal, it's encouraged.