Step 1: Melt 3 tablespoons of the butter in a skillet. Add onion and sauté for about 5 minutes or until golden. Slowly add flour, stirring constantly over low heat. Continue cooking for several minutes, then gradually add hot milk.
Step 2: Stir over low heat until the sauce thickens and begins to boil. Add salt, pepper, and wine. Fold in crab meat. Reserve enough crumbs and cheese to top the casserole, and then stir the remainder into the sauce. Place in a lightly greased shallow baking dish.
Step 3: Sprinkle the remaining cracker crumbs and cheese on the top of the casserole. Dot the top with 1 tablespoon butter.
Step 4: Bake uncovered at 350F for about 15-20 minutes or until golden brown and bubbly.
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